Past Life Experience

Hypnosis is a strange thing. You are fully aware, and yet, it feels like you are sleeping. I have had experience with medical-grade hypnosis, but it was a set of tracks that I listened to while pregnant to prepare for a pain free home-birth with my second little one. In person was a whole new level of strange and fascinating. Because of my experience with reiki, meditation and hypnosis, I went into this session with zero expectations, excited to learn and explore these different timelines.

It began like a regular meditation, becoming aware of my breath. Sinking deeply into relaxation. My guide led me down a level of relaxation to find a memory from this life time where I felt safe and loved. Deeper still with an earlier memory of myself at age 2 or 3. Even deeper into the womb. Sharing the space with my twin, feeling the sensation of floating in the void. I felt my hands grow warm as she asked me what my purpose in this life time was to be. I knew immediately what that answer was. “To use my hands to channel healing to the collective.” Goosebumps.

From there she took me down the spirals of consciousness and instructed me to begin to explore the world around me. I felt my feet reach earth - cold and damp. My toes dug around in the soil, bare and exposed. Looking down at my hands I see they are pale, long fingered and scattered with freckles, dirt caked under my fingernails. My skirt was long, woolen, and a deep green. My long sleeved white shirt tucked in at the waist, buttoned up to my neck. I was a young woman, about 19 years old, living in 1860’s Coastal Ireland on a cliff overlooking the ocean. I could see my tiny house from atop the hill I stood on, and instinctively knew in my current body that I had stood here many times. Ships sailed in the distance, but they held no sense of attachment to me. The cold breeze blew across my face, tousling my fiery red hair that fell in waves down my back. I remember running through this forest like muscle memory, each tree had their own special place in my heart. I felt the rush of joy as I ducked in and out of them searching for herbs and roots that I sold alongside my father out of our home apothecary. People knew us by word of mouth, and we never had much, but we always had enough. My mother had died when I was young, so as I grew up my father taught me the trade so I could help him as he slowly sunk into dementia over the years. I enjoyed this feeling of freedom for a few moments longer, recognizing that even though I may have been isolated and far from society, I felt at peace. Free, clear, confident, and full of zest for life. I didn’t mind being detached and alone, for here in nature I felt more connected and fulfilled than I ever could with people. I didn’t need anyone. Just the sea and my herbs. Continuing on to the next important moment in this life, I was transported to the day of my father’s funeral. My home subsequently was taken from me by bank men, I believe due to debts and the fact I was a woman with no money and no prospects. I remember feeling sad and scared, but my father had instilled in me a deep passion and drive to succeed so I began to sell my products and herbal remedies in markets and throughout town with long time customers. My reputation grew, and eventually I had saved enough to open a small apothecary on the main street. I was happy to be running the store, and became very successful. The next scene that I witnessed was that of meeting my soul mate. As soon as I saw him, I knew that it was the soul of my current beloved. In a flash I saw our life, our courting, our marriage in this lifetime. Pictures, moments, fleeting sensations. So much love and passion then too. I soon became pregnant and labored a beautiful baby girl into this world. But soon after delivering I knew I was not going to make it. I held on to life for a few moments to say hello and welcome to my darling girl, and just long enough to say goodbye to my love. I told him I would find him again in the next life, and then succumbed to the agony of leaving my loved ones behind. I heard his cries for me to stay with him. To please not leave him. He clutched my body to his chest as if he could hold me here forever, tethering my soul to his body. But alas, my soul departed. I drifted away to the deep rhythmic sound of his heartbeat. Nothing could have prepared me for the waves of emotion that flooded my current body. Everything became clear to me in this moment. Present me sobbed as I released the pain from over a century past, realizing that the purpose of this regression was to heal and to fully understand how I had carried the fear of delivery and birthing trauma into my current body, thereby causing me to be unable to dilate and deliver my babies naturally. My soulmate carried the fear of losing me into this lifetime.

My guide began to invite my soul to leave this space and begin the journey into the next lifetime. I felt my soul transcend and heard the word “forward” as I floated up into wispy white clouds that slowly transformed into bright sparkling light reflecting off the top of water. My new body reached the surface, and then I breathed deeply a different kind of ocean breeze. The water was warm, clear, and waves lapped loudly against the sand. The sun shone bright and beamed hot above me. Lush palm trees and bright green foliage met the beach with ecstasy. This swim felt natural, like muscle memory as well. Like a journey I had taken many times before. I reached the shore and walked through the warm, soft sand. In this moment I felt like a woman, feminine and beautiful. Again, alone with my thoughts, and at peace. Moving forward through time again, I found myself sitting in circle with the rest of my village. The light from the fire lit their faces with a warm glow, casting deep shadows behind. The sound of children’s laughter and the muffled voices of those around me began to quiet as the medicine man stepped out to begin his storytelling. But he spoke not with words, he spoke with his dance and his drum. In this moment, I felt like a man. Strong, fierce, commanding and powerful. As my shaman danced in sync with the flames, I knew that I was to be chosen as the next shaman for my people. The scene shifted and I was being initiated. I was given a psychedelic, some type of drink that was used with the purpose of taking me to meet the ancestors and in so doing being able to download their sacred knowledge that I would share with my tribe. It brought me to the brink of death, the precipice between worlds, the edge of the afterlife. The place where souls can communicate across time and space. I communed with my ancestors and the sacred shamans of times past. When I woke from this trance, I moved to a different tent to receive a sacred poke tattoo to mark me as shaman initiate and to decorate my temple with the messages I had received. This tattoo was divinely channeled by a woman who felt very motherly to me. She spoke not a word, but her face was kind and gentle, her eyes creased from years of smiling. Transported to my final scene in this lifetime, I lay dying in my tent, surrounded by a few people who I felt a deep connection to. My next initiate, my partner, and a few elders from our tribe. I felt a weight on my chest as though I couldn’t breath. Pneumonia, fluid in my lungs, or lung infection from the years of smoking our sacred herbs. There were no tears, there was no sadness at this time, for we all knew I would be joining the ancestors and that they could all call on me and communicate with me whenever they needed to. I was not leaving, just ascending.

ASCENSION

I felt my soul begin to lift and float again. This time the clouds and sky turned to deep blues, vivid purples, and twinkling lights with flashes of aurora borealis. My energy swirled and met with others ascending just like me. We sat in a glass house, with glass floors and glass walls so clear it felt as though we tread on nothing with our non existent feet. We were all no one, and yet everyone all at once. All were familiar, and yet none did I recognize as any one person. The galaxy laid before me, and I reveled in its beauty and majesty while all at the same time being completely detached from it. It was a place I had seen many many times, and it still held the same glory but it also felt like a home I had lived in for millennia. It was everything and also nothingness, perfect polarities coming together in divine union. We sat at a table, communicating in feeling, language and voices unrecognizable, the lives we were to live together. I was author, editor, and avid reader all at once, creating and writing and reading my story as it unfolded, curating soul contracts and accepting and witnessing my next lifetime with no attachment, understanding that my soul purpose would be divinely carried out. Instead of jumping into another lifetime as my guide and I had planned, my subconscious decided I had learned what I needed to, and refused to show me any other timelines. I was brought back into my current body in a free fall, feeling my soul softly merge back into who I am today. Information was integrated and received all in gratitude, fully knowing I can come back to this place beyond space and time whenever I need to. But for now, I was home.